Kerrying On

I interviewed John Kerry many years ago when I was a (very) fledgling radio reporter in Pittsfield MA. Politics aside, I came away with the unshakable impression that he was the classic "empty suit" -- an aristocratic bearing, a haughty delivery, and the repitition of boilerplate liberal platitudes seemed all that he was capable of (albeit, characteristics not entirely unwelcomed in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts). His only sliver of credibility seemed to depend on the fact that his speech pattern was so unbearably heavy-handed that many were apparently convinced that he actually knew what he was talking about (and, heaven forbid, many have even believed it). His Senior partner in the US Senate -- not exactly a favorite of this reporter, either -- has at least compiled a substantial legislative record through combination of hard work, his family name, and 40 years of influence. Kerry, it would seem, had none of this. Even his initials -- JFK -- seemed at least a semi-intentional grasping at credibility. I've seen very little in the past three years that would disabuse this notion.

So earlier this week JFK-2 was at a political rally and wanted to take a cheap shot at the president. Okay, that's politics. The problem, however, is something his handlers -- and, of course, Kerry himself -- should know by now: People who have no sense of humor should not be given the additional burden of trying to be funny.

Granted, even if he'd said "get us stuck" instead of "get stuck," it wouldn't exactly have been worth inclusion in a Jay Leno monologue, but beyond that, this guy has the delivery of a walrus and the timing of an epileptic kitten. John Kerry trying to tell jokes is like me trying to wire a ceiling fan, except that I know I can't do it. He really should know better.

Rob Long must be loving this. I'm surprised he hasn't weighed in on it (to my knowledge). Others have said this is (was) the "Dean Scream" of the 2008 Kerry Campaign. He's done.

One final note -- President GWB once said to a group of graduating seniors (I believe at Yale, but I'm too lazy to look it up right now and I'll paraphrase the quote) -- "To all you A-students, congratulations. You've done great! To you C-students -- just think, you, too can become president of the United States." Can we get Kerry for plagiarism, too? (Maybe we could, if he'd actually deliver his material correctly.